Mountain Troll Shirt, Funny Hiking Shirt, Sarcastic Hiker Gift, Outdoor Nature Tee, Funny Gift for Her, Trail Humor Shirt

MOUNTAIN TROLL UNISEX TEE

Let's be honest. You're not "outdoorsy." Outdoorsy people bring matching gear and fresh veggies. You brought gas station beef jerky, one water bottle that may or may not have mold in it, and absolutely zero plans to turn around before dark. You also may or may not be hungover. 

You are feral. You are majestic. You are a Mountain Troll. You know what you are. You've known for a while. This is just the first time it's been on a shirt.

You are a Mountain Troll if you:

*Have hissed at a tourist

*Consider a shower "optional" for 3-5 business days

*Have trail mix in their hair that's been there for days

*You have dug a hole and used it and covered it back up and felt more honest in that moment than you have in any meeting, any conversation, any normal human interaction in recent memory

*Never washed your sleep bag. Like, ever.

*Wonder why you ever come back from the mountains.

About the shirt:Unisex. Fits the way something fits when it has given up caring what you think about it. Comfortable enough that you'll wear it constantly. Durable enough to survive what you put it through. Soft enough that even your destroyed, trail-calloused, deeply unsentimental hands will admit that yes, okay, this is nice. This is a nice shirt.

The text is simple. MOUNTAIN TROLL. Two words. No explanation. No hashtag. No little mountain graphic. No compass. No coordinates of somewhere meaningful to you typed underneath in a tiny font. Nothing cute. Nothing decorative. Just the truth, in block letters, across your chest, stated plainly, for anyone who gets close enough to read it, which you would prefer they didn't but you understand some people haven't learned yet.

Sizing: Whatever fits. You've carried weight over terrain that would break most people. You know your body. You know what it can do. You know it has done things. Trust it. Order the size that lets you move the way you need to move. You know what that means. You've needed to move fast before. Order accordingly.

Care instructions: You're going to wash this when you remember and not before. Or not at all. You're going to wear it into places that will add character to it and call that character seasoning and mean it. You're going to keep wearing it until it falls apart. The mountain troll does not retire things. The mountain troll uses things until they become something else. Until they become part of the story. This shirt is going to be part of the story.

Returns: Mountain trolls don't return things. Mountain trolls commit. You committed to a route once in conditions that made your emergency contact cry a little when you told them about it later. You can commit to a shirt. You already know this is your shirt. You knew when you read the title. The only decision left is the size.

Details:

This classic unisex short sleeve tee fits like a well-loved favorite. Soft cotton and quality print make users fall in love with it over and over again. These t-shirts have ribbed knit collars to bolster shaping. The shoulders are tapered for a better fit over time, and dual side seams hold the garment's shape for longer.

• Made with 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, this shirt is a lightweight fabric (4.2 oz/yd² (142 g/m²)) that's breathable and easy to layer. Perfect for active and leisure wear. 
• The retail fit that is perfect for casual and semi-formal settings. The crew neckline adds a classic, neat style that's perfect for accessorizing. 
• We manufacture all products in the US and internationally in humane, no-sweat-shop, sustainable way and is part of the Fair Labor Association as well as Platinum WRAP certified. 
• The tear-away label minimizes skin irritations. 
• Fabric blends: Cotton and polyester.

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean