FERAL HUMAN (DO NOT APPROACH) HOODED SWEATSHIRT

You have been mistaken for wildlife. A ranger has made eye contact with you and then slowly looked away. Good. Let them fear you.

This is for you if:

• Your hiking boots have never been cleaned and you consider that seasoning
• You have eaten something off the ground on a trail and called it "foraging"
• You've peed behind a tree 40 feet from a perfectly functional trailhead bathroom because the bathroom had a DOOR and WALLS and that felt like a trap
• You have argued with a squirrel and lost
• Someone on the trail said "beautiful day!" and you just stared at them until they left
• You have kept hiking through weather that made other people genuinely concerned for your safety and you felt ALIVE
• You've camped alone and talked to the dark and the dark talked back and you said "cool" and went to sleep
• You have smelled yourself on a trail and thought "powerful"
• A search and rescue volunteer has your photo pinned up somewhere as a "known entity"

Sizing: It doesn't matter. You're going to wear it over three other layers anyway. You're going to sleep in it. You're going to wear it into a gas station at the end of a 4 day trip and the cashier is going to hand you your change without speaking and you will respect that transaction deeply.

Care instructions: Hand wash? In what, a creek? You're gonna wear it until it disintegrates off your body on a mountainside somewhere and the earth reclaims it. That's the plan. That's always been the plan.

Shipping: If you're currently between locations — you know who you are — we respect it. We'll wait.

Info:

Hoodie made from a soft cotton-poly blend, provides warmth and durability. Its unisex fit offers everyday versatility, with ribbed cuffs and hem to keep the shape intact. A large front pocket adds convenience, while the double-lined hood with matching drawcord gives it a clean, cohesive look.The hoody is a reliable choice that balances comfort and longevity.

Tumble dry: medium; Iron, steam or dry: low heat; Do not dryclean; Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F); Non-chlorine: bleach as needed.

Disclaimer:

- Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.